I SHOULD HAVE JUST MASTURBATED


You’re all made up
But your hair’s still a mess
Looking out of place
In that fancy dress
You look at me
And force a smile
I take your hand 
As we walk down the isle

Wo ho
What an illusion
I am
A poor substitution

They sit us down
We’re friends of the bride
She’s an ex
Of both you and I
The music begins
Both of us stand
Why she chose him
We’ll never understand

Wo ho
What an illusion
He is
A poor substitution

It isn’t
All that complicated
I should
Have just masturbated
I gave her my heart
And she gave it to him
And now I’m with her
Her old girlfriend
I should
Have just masturbated

She looks like a dream
The blushing bride
Dressed in white
Well I guess we all lie
When the time comes
She says ‘I do’
Well she did didn’t she
With both me and you

Wo ho
What an illusion
She is
A born again virgin




© McGie/Lundquist